Bad Decisions Make the Best Stories

Come on, admit it, bad decisions ALWAYS make the best stories. You know the ones. The stupid decisions you make when you’re really hammered on a shitload of Fireball. Or when you are so angry at somebody that you say something or do something stupid in anger and it blows up right in your face. Or when you think you have a really fun idea and you end up in the emergency room. THOSE kind of bad decisions…

You could be like a friend of mine who decided, when his wife wasn’t home, that he would move a piece of furniture for his wife. By himself. Alone in the house. Oh, he’s a big guy, you wouldn’t think he would have ANY kind of an issue. But this would prove to be one of those…

Bad decisions.

As he was trying to push the piece of furniture (pushing it, flat top down) up the stairs, it started to come back down the stairs on him. His ONLY choice was to jump over the stair railing onto the floor about 8 ft. below, and he landed foot first on the ground. The landing had his foot cut wide open, and he now had a broken hip to boot. Problem was, his wife was at work, the phone was all the way across the house, and he did not have a Life Alert around his neck to scream, “I’VE FALLEN, AND I CAN’T GET UP!!!” 2 hours later, he made it to a phone to call his wife (and an ambulance). He then spent the next month and a half in hospital and physical rehab, questioning his life and purpose and thaaaaaat…

Bad decision.

Or, like this crazy cool girl that I used to work with. She’s actually laughing so hard she’s crying as she tells me the story…

So one night, she goes out with her boyfriend and her roommate and they all get hammered. They get back home around 3 in the morning, and of course, they’re starving. There’s not much to eat in the house, so she just decided to make herself a nice big bowl of cornflakes. All I can think is bad enough having milk after drinking, then possibly a little lactose intolerance. But then to add corn flakes or bran flakes to the mix?

Bad decision.

Jeez, light a match guy with winter hat on holding a lit match
Jeez, light a match!!!

So fast forward like half an hour, and she is now NOXIOUS gassy. to which somebody says, “Jeez, light a candle!!!” But we all know when you get that gassy, you do NOT light a match if you don’t have to. So, in their infinite wisdom, after seeing a video on YouTube of somebody lighting a match by their butt cheeks before they farted, they thought, “Hey! Let’s try it!”

Bad decision.

So they wait as her next fart is brewing and one of them grabs a lighter. She had shorts on as they were hanging out and getting ready for bed. A few minutes later, she says, “Okay, get ready!”

(Did I say this was a bad decision?)

They light the lighter, she lets it rip, and there were not only flames shooting out in front of that lighter as it torched, she also set her shorts on fire, as well as a mess of pubic hairs. Here she is, running around screaming, two guys helping her to spank herself to put the fire out, screaming laughing and crying all at the same time, holy shit! I mean HELL! May have been fun getting spanked by two guys at the same time, but in my opinion?

Bad decision..

Lesson learned? Probably not, LOL!

Like I said, bad decisions make for the best stories! What’s your story? Click below, check out this yoyo lighting a candle with, you guessed it, a fart and a lighter…