Lessons in love, or, Relationships SUCK (sometimes…)
So, we’ve all had at least a few relationships where we knew the second we got into them we shouldn’t be in them. I’m not talking about good relationships gone bad , I’m talking about the worst one of all. The one where you can’t be yourself.
Listen, sometimes relationships SUCK. Maybe this is why everybody says they’d rather be dating their dog. Wanna know why? Because the old saying is true. Dogs give unconditional love. Dogs LOVE you just as you are! In relationships, we have to try to love unconditionally. Listen, the second you try to change somebody, or their values, that’s when the trouble begins. Think about it. What happens when you try to quit or change a bad habit? You’re miserable. When somebody is telling you not to be yourself, or that you’re not allowed to be yourself, it’s telling you that you’re not allowed to be happy. You’re not allowed to thrive As You Are. Essentially, that’s what’s going to happen, and you’re going to be miserable.
Yes, I’ve been known to be a little wacky. Do I care? Hell no! If you can’t laugh, or I can’t make you laugh, I’m miserable. In order to get through life, you have to be able to smile and laugh a little bit. If not, we’d all go insane. Or, we just be a bunch of miserable effers!
Anyway, my point being that I have gotten into relationships with people thinking that I could make them happy when they were miserable every day of their lives. You want to know who ended up miserable?
Omg, trust me, you don’t want to be with a person who’s like a wet dishrag every day. And it wasn’t just that he was miserable every day of his life. It was more like he was so miserable that when I brought him out with my friends, and we started to have a little bit of fun , it was like what’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with you people? After a while, I noticed that I was starting to act differently. Because I felt like I couldn’t be myself. He made me question my own values, he had me convinced that I had a problem. Eventually I realized it wasn’t me with the problem, it was him.
It took a few good friends to tell me that I deserved to be happy and be myself , and there are plenty of people that would love my craziness and accept me just the way I am. Sure enough, as soon as I ended that relationship, I met the fine crazy guy who was almost crazier than me. We have now been married for 11 years, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Yep, we are still just as crazy as we have ever been, and that’s why we thrive in our relationship each and every day. And the only thing better than that is that we have a son that we raised to be EXACTLY the same way.
So the one thing to take away from this today is that you need to be with the person who enjoys your craziness. Not to be with a jerk who tries to force you to be normal. Not to be with a person who tries to make you fit into a mold. Be with somebody who accepts you for who you are, exactly the way you are. Embrace your crazy! That is where true happiness lies.
- Top 10 Crazy Facts About Psychiatry In The 19th Century (listverse.com)