Self Control? What’s That???

So there are many different kinds of relationship in life. Friendships, romantic relationships, love-hate relationships, “I hate that son-of-a-bitch more than life itself relationships… We always prefer to have peace in our lives, to be happy everyday and love all of our friends. But then one day…

One day that trainwreck shitstorm drama llama ding-dong falls out of the sky and right into your bowl of Cheerios and spends the rest of their time knowing you peeing in it. AND, what’s worse, no matter where you are or where you go, there’s no getting rid of them! Your air quality meter alarm is going off at 200% toxicity.

What.
Do.
You.
Do.
????

Well, you could want to put a bullet in your head everyday for the rest of your life, and trust me, that person will find a way to invade your airspace, Every. Single. Day. They will choke you everyday, gagging you with all of the drama they’re trying to shove down your throat three spoons at a time. Suffocate you with the pillow you’re trying to wrap around your ears going LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!! to drown out the sound of their whining. Anyone with a shred of humanity seeing one of these people doing this to you would pull out a gun, take that pillow and use it as a silencer when they put a bullet in your head to put you out of your misery.

Life lesson here, guys. You may not be able to control who comes into your life, but you can absolutely control what window you’ll throw them out of. Not a fan of heights? Not a fan of prison Orange, or the free pretty blinky shiny ankle bracelet jewelry that comes with it? How about a garbage can? Pretty shiny silver, no bloody mess to clean up and putting the lid on top not only drowns out the sound of the bitching, it also kind of makes them out of sight and out of mind. Technically, you COULD put the garbage can on the sidewalk, shove them out the window into said can and then drop the lid on top after them. Kind of like the garbage took itself out, you know?

Whatever you do, just don’t let toxic people create misery in your life. Whenever you meet one, don’t just walk the other way, run! Then go find the person that introduced you to them and toss them right into that can with them. (Yes, my friends, there are people that will purposely introduce you just to get the train wreck to leave them alone, and then you’re stuck with the problem…)Take the lid and clang them on the head once or twice, just to get your point across. “DON’T! (clang!) EVER!(clang!) DO!(clang!) THAT! (clang!) AGAIN! (clang!) EVER! (clang!) EVER! (clang!) EVER…..

(YEAH, baby, I’ve got your Excedrin Headache right eeeeeeeere!)