Whether You Weather the Weather… Or Not

It is hotter than Hades' sweaty ball sack today, holy shit! I mean seriously, what the fuck is going on with the weather anymore? And please don't hand me any of that global warming bullshit. You and I and half of the population all know full well that that Greta chick is so full of crap her eyes are brown, smh

April 8, 2021April 8, 2021

Chickens. The Pets That Poop Breakfast

Chicks are cute for a week or two, then they turn into lean mean pooping machines!

February 9, 2021February 9, 2021

Back to the Grind…

One year of shutdown in 16 lbs later, it's back to the grind for me. Today will mark 5 days back to the gym, and I'm hurting in places I forgot I could ever feel pain.

January 31, 2021January 31, 2021

Is Your Refrigerator Running?

Do you realize the irony of an entire generation of… Read More

December 21, 2020December 21, 2020

You’re Just Jealous the Voices Talk to Me…

Soooo I dunno about you, but this covid crap is irritating the shit out of me... The masks. Sanitizer. My sanity, what little I have left... Hate the masks. Hate hate HATE the masks. Sneezing with the mask on feels like crapping your pants with your face! But when I'm out around the covidiots, wearing the mask in public isn't SO bad. Then I can actually talk to myself in peace...

December 19, 2020December 19, 2020

I’m in a Good Place Right Now. Not Emotionally. I’m Just at the Liquor Store…

I can remember when a pint of rock solid Haagen-Dazs Chocolate Chocolate Chip ice cream and a fork used to be the greatest, most comforting thing ever? Good times! Good times...

December 13, 2020April 21, 2021

Nice Perfume, Must You MARINATE In It?

I remember when I was a kid going to my grandparents house and my grandmother had like 7 bottles of perfume on her dresser. A wonderful array of shades of headache to come. Names like Tigress, Muguet, Emeraude...

November 29, 2020November 29, 2020

Crazy Is As Crazy Does…

Sooooo I think I told you, I went to the doctor the other day. He told me I need to start killing people. I mean, what he really said was that I should reduce the stress in my life. Kinda the same thing?

November 29, 2020November 29, 2020

Butter, NOT Parkay

Butter is slippery, that’s why we eat as much as… Read More

November 21, 2020December 21, 2020

Control Issues

Well, today's been like the worst day ever. Realized that my universal remote control most definitely does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

November 20, 2020November 20, 2020

What? No Welcome Mat?

Looking for welcome mat? Well, you aren't going to find one at my door 'cuz I ain't a liar..

That's Ms. Bitch to You

giving out big girl panties, one pair at a time…